Sometimes a divorce can seem like a distaster in the beginning stages of a breakup. However. As time passes, and as problems are worked out. It seems as if the word "divorce" which means "emancipation," which further means, "to be set free from," is a scary thing at first.
Then, as time passes and as friendships are redefined, a person who is going through a divorce will simply need other human beings in their life to fill the "voids" that creep up on them. I know, I have been divorced now one time. And yes, I miss the family, but I do not miss the chaos and the other party's daily poor and ugly choices.
The sad part is the fact that one spouse is usually for the marriage, even through the bad times (the vow you made), while the other spouse abandons all hope for the marriage to even make it through a "bad time." Isn't that funny how some people think that only the good parts of marriage ought to be included in the day to day living, and that commitment to keeping the marriage intact, "in good times and bad times, for better or for worse," doesn't apply to them, but their expectations of their partner are unattainable.
This is a good recipe for a divorce even before the relationship happens: one person who commits and one person who holds back. Now she has what she probably needed most since before she met me: some time to heal from the wounds within her that happened a longer time ago and a long time before I met her, --when she was a child. The door was open for her to make the most of every opportunity turning the marriage into a creative living arrangement.
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